


I Guess, Any Thrill Will Do

by spookyvulcan



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pining, Yearning, i just miss them, no beta we die like men, two dumbasses in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27118579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyvulcan/pseuds/spookyvulcan
Summary: Wilde has done many mistakes, this might be one of them, and he had an inkling that Carter might agree. Because all the thoughts that plague him tonight have nothing to do with the rogue and all to do with a dwarf.
Relationships: Commander James Barnes/Howard Carter (Rusty Quill Gaming), Howard Carter/Oscar Wilde (Rusty Quill Gaming), Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	I Guess, Any Thrill Will Do

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when my mind tells me "what if carter and wilde did sleep together but they actually just yearn for barnes and for zolf?" enjoy, also i was thinking of doing a second chapter with carter's pov so do let me know if you'd be interested in it!

Wilde knew that what had happened between him and Carter was… well, not a mistake. Actually, yes, a mistake. The option had been right there and it had felt so good to just slip into old habits. It had been an opportunity to forget about how the world was coming apart in front of his eyes and he couldn’t do anything about it. Maybe, at some point, he could have done something, but not anymore. 

The touch of the sheets against his bare skin were bothering him more than relaxing him. He prayed Carter was asleep. The rogue certainly looked like he was passed out on the other side of the bed. 

_What had he been thinking?_

Carter was one of the people working with him. He couldn’t afford to endanger such an important connection. Especially when those were running dry these days. He couldn’t really trust anyone, no matter how much he wanted. 

With a soft sigh, the bard found himself sliding out of bed with as much care as he could and getting dressed, wrapping himself in the empty comfort that a warm robe could bring him. His mind was running while his feet seemed to bring him outside the inn. It was colder than he expected but that was very low on the list of priorities his brian had conjured up. Wilde was just happy that it was only the innkeeper, Carter and him in the inn.

He had lost everything. He had lost those figures he thought he could trust. Yet, he still was trying to _do something_. He was trying to save the world without knowing if there was still anything left to save. He had lost his magic, he was nothing more than another bloke. He had lost his friends. Hamid, Azu, Grizzop, Sasha. 

The last name brought the beginnings of a small smile on his face which didn’t quite manage to flourish. His trademark smile hadn’t really made an appearance in more than a year, _well-_ the trademark smile he _used to_ have. Last time he had seen her, they had _made puns together_. It was such a silly thing, yet that memory seemed to cling to him. In moments like this, he wished he had treated her better or been more careful with the things that left his mouth. 

Yes, there was Barnes and Carter, but he couldn’t afford to think of them as friends. He _couldn’t_. And Zolf. Thank the gods, he wasn’t here. He couldn’t have dealt with those eyes looking at him. So, yes, there was Zolf, but Zolf wasn’t just his friend, was he? 

That was certainly the question that had brought him out here. Things had changed between them during this time. They both had certainly changed. 

It was hard to forget the way Zolf had looked at him when Wilde went looking for him after the _LOLOMG_ disappeared. He couldn’t blame the dwarf. He supposed he wasn’t looking his best with his hair terribly short and looking like he hadn’t slept in months - which to be fair, he hadn’t - although it wasn’t his fault. Entirely, at least. The bard liked to tell himself that what he had seen in the dwarf’s blue eyes was surprise, not worry and concern. 

He had known that there was something wrong. He had known right away. But he hadn’t been able to afford to tell anyone. Every meritocratic order that he got contradicted the last and if they didn’t contradict each other, he had wanted no part in them. And Hamid, Azu, Sasha and Grizzop had too much to worry about. They didn’t need the burden of someone who was supposed to be _handling_ them. 

Zolf had been looking better, though. He had cut his hair and his beard was in a single braid. His hair had only begun to be decorated by those white traces, unlike now. Still, Wilde found his eyes lingering on the dwarf even now. Some part of his mind found it utterly hilarious how that had come to be, another part of his mind wasn’t surprised at all. 

His consciousness decided it was then the perfect time to remind him how he had _booped_ Zolf’s nose upon meeting and how the dwarf had replied by _headbutting_ him. To be fair, the bard had done it to annoy him and he had been glad he had managed it, even if a nose bleed had been the cost. Wilde found himself shaking his head as he stared down at his hands, gently rubbing against each other to look for some semblance of warmth. 

Zolf should get here in a couple of days and it was a torturous thought, if the bard was honest with himself. He knew what would happen. Wilde probably wouldn’t be able to stand looking at the dwarf for too long until he had gone through quarantine, but it had to be done. He wasn’t going to risk it. He wasn’t going to make another mistake. 

He had known Zolf for what felt like ages, although Wilde knew it hadn’t been more than two years. Yet, it felt as if it had been an eternity. The world had twisted upside down and it had become a very, very cruel place. Even more than it used to be and the bard resented it for that. Although, that hadn’t seemed to change the fact that Zolf _cared so much_. If only, it had only exalted that. 

Zolf drew his magic from a place of hope and optimism. Not from a God, at least, not in the common idea of a God. The dwarf had seen all this destruction and pain and had drawn from the belief that something could still be done, something could be saved. Wilde admired the cleric more than he would ever let himself say out loud for that. 

Wilde doubted Zolf felt the same way, but it wasn’t something that bothered him especially. Or so he told himself. The bard could continue to do this if he had Zolf by his side. If he had him to _care_ and to continue telling him that there must be something they could do. 

“You too?” A voice interrupted his thoughts, breaking him out of his mind. He felt his entire body tense up, his blue eyes searching for its source. Carter was standing him behind him, fully dressed. He guessed the rogue wasn’t as asleep as he had thought. 

Of course Wilde had noticed. His keen eye for people wasn’t something that he had lost. The way Carter looked at Barnes said a million things that the ex-commander didn’t seem to be able to decode most of the time. Which was a shame, because the bard was pretty sure Barnes felt the same way. 

Wilde had seen Carter get into trouble too many times just to keep himself entertained. He guessed half of the time he did it because the rogue just _needed_ to be doing something, while the other half was to get Barnes’ attention. 

“It would seem that way, yes.” Wilde finally replied, dragging his gaze away from the other man, returning it to the darkness of the sky.

He was still _alive_ , hoping that Zolf was right and he could still do something for this world and maybe, just maybe, also for himself and the cleric that plagued his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at benmeredithjail and i promise at some point i will finish my wilde/zolf soulmates au (i promise)


End file.
